there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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