I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
