so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
