We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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