So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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