just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do