We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Remember the time you cried about coconuts