What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Little spoons don't ask big questions
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY