no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
