I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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