I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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