the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
