I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i think my tv is drunk
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize