There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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