im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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