do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
