he thought i was a dude.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
