my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
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Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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