I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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