Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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