clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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