every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
