there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
