HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
