I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
