so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize