Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
