Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
