Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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