Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
