I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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