You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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