Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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