im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
