Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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