can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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