My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
