i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize