hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
