I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
