woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
