i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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