Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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