I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
