they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
