if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
