i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
