I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
