i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Randomize
