I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
