Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize