Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize