another moral hangover. fuck.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
