I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
