i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Randomize
