hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize