so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
