Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
