Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
