look no pants
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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