She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
